I think this title comes up a lot. It sure does show up in my newsfeeds and memes. I’ve crafted my daily intake to be filled with quality images and words that keep me moving in the direction I’ve chosen.
But yesterday I noticed something. The admonition to “let go” doesn’t always comes with the ‘how to”. We are told to walk away from toxic relationships, to let go of behaviors and beliefs that no longer serve us, to do self care, to endure, to persevere and persist……
A simple suggestion, I offer. But it is kind of a big idea.
Yes, replace. We so focus on the letting go that we haven’t given much thought to what will take its place. If we let go of a pattern of hours of facebook scrolling, what then will we do? If we change our diet, what then will we eat? If we walk away from toxic family or friends, who will we end up with?
So this is what came to me recently. We replace. We start with what we want. We begin with pushing out what we don’t want.
For example: If we want to reduce Facebook time, put the phone down and go walk around the block. If we want to reduce mindless eating, hop in the car and go to the grocery store and buy those gorgeous strawberries and blueberries (Local and in season is even better!). If we want to change the mantras in our head that lay down reverberations of negativity, self hate, denial, not enoughness….listen to the music that makes you dance and sends you the messages you want to hear because they are true.
Go lay down in the grassy knoll of a local park or farmland, and watch the clouds scoot by. Imagine yourself till you are broad of smile and tingling within. If you need to get some training in so you can change courses, do it. If you need to change where you purchase your clothing because you are changing your visual appearance, do it a piece at a time.
Be you. Fill you with you. In so doing, what you want will displace what you don’t want, and it will come slopping out of the jar. It will make a mess, for sure.
People won’t quite know what to do with you and so those negative relationships will drop out of site. Goodbye.
You’ll match the quality of your clothes to the quality of yourself and your closet excess of clothes that cover you up will have space for the few magnificent pieces needed to highlight magnificent you.
You will both feel lost at sea AND the captain of your own ship, at the same time.
The job that sucks you dry will be the money maker for the work you love to do and then one day you’ll hand in your notice and be on your way.
The whispery jerks in your head will fade, replaced by Enya sounding angel voices or emphatic declarations like Freddie Mercury that do not offer false support but echo the truth of you as it rolls around freely in your whole being.
Replace. Fill. Spill over.
Spiritual Direction is a great fit for this process. We will tell old war stories and if I suspect your wound is still bleeding out or you are stuck in a place of precious mental precariousness, we’ll make sure you are connected to the right therapist. But if your wound is scabbed and scarred and you are ready to move on, then for your sake, let’s go.
I can’t wait for this to come to be in your life.